By Derrick Brown (follow on Twitter @dbrowndbrown)
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Reaching Out … While Respecting Boundaries (Part 3) (1577 Words)
(60th Day of School – October 31, 2025)
By Derrick Brown (Join Our Mailing List!)
I. The Footnotes That Became Lessons
By the end of October, everything began to feel like a footnote … not an ending, but an afterword written by fatigue itself.
Thursday’s encounters replayed like commentaries on what I already knew about my professional environment, my students, and my spirit.
Yet even the smallest interactions demanded reflection, because they exposed the subtle ways boundaries can be tested, broken, and rebuilt.
The first “footnote” began innocently enough.
I encountered DA’s friend, the same young woman who had recently entered my narrative through unwelcome, ill-advised snark and sarcasm … while trying to gain after-hours access to the school.
She “challenged” me to donate blood ... a harmless solicitation on the surface.
But recognition triggered memory, and memory triggered caution.
I named her “familiar” tone as unwelcome.
I said too much.
My words crossed a professional line … not in content but in context.
Male teacher … female student … public space … uninvited “advice.”
In today’s environment, that equation can become accusation overnight.
Later, I learned that she described the exchange as “bothering her” … which can easily translate to “harassment.”
Deflection is protection from correction.
But in this instance, the cost of correction was too high.
Lesson learned (again) … advice requires permission … and perception defines truth.
II. Classroom Rhythms … and Fault Lines
Thursday also delivered a glimpse of what stability can look like before it fractures.
My 3A class seemed to settle into a rhythm ... “no-eating” rules accepted, routines followed, a “quiz” completed without chaos.
The air was light enough for learning.
The Uno game still held its charm, and students volunteered to lead a new SET tutorial.
JahA and JL stood at the whiteboard, animated and eager.
Their classmates resisted at first … perhaps not out of disinterest … but out of pride.
JahA’s “desperate” competitive energy (he wants to “beat you” … more than he wants “to win”) often alienates peers.
Eventually, curiosity overcame judgment.
A few students joined them.
It was working.
Then, predictably, it was not.
When order feels new, disorder always looks for an opening.
The room was loud, but engaged in fine fellowship.
Everyone except JahA.
JahA approached me at my desk … he requested permission to interrupt another teacher’s class to borrow a Chromebook charger.
Permission denied.
JahA then casually explained that he believed the teacher was on their planning period … and that he would not be interrupting them at all.
Self-centered explanation denied.
Then came a request to use my charger.
Permission denied.
Stay away from the Chromebook … fellowship with your classmates.
Request to visit the nurse ... denied.
Request to use the restroom ... denied.
The denials were deliberate … boundaries tested through repetition.
Each “no” revealed how comfortable he was to negotiating consequences through persistence.
What followed was textbook “passive aggression” … sulking, feigned sleep, and a phone appearing in defiance.
I asked twice for him to put it away.
The third time, I realized he was likely texting his mother to cast himself as the victim.
I approached, placed a hand on his shoulder ... an instinctive gesture I immediately regretted ... and delivered my “farewell address.”
It is the speech I reserve for moments when logic no longer reaches the listener.
I “tell them that I smell them.”
It is not an insult … rather, it is a diagnosis … the odor of manipulation, masked disrespect, and quiet rebellion.
I did not engage him for the rest of the class.
At the bell, I asked that he repair a bulletin board poster he had (accidentally) displaced while standing at the door waiting for the bell.
He feigned compliance, then declared he was “telling his mother” … and we “would need to have a meeting” because I “did not comprehend what he was saying.”
The irony stung.
I had understood him.
His words were not dialogue … they were defense.
He was building a record.
I said “OK” to his assertion, then disengaged.
The “meeting” he threatened to request could only produce noise.
I already had the data.
Experience is its own documentation.
III. The Exhaustion of Endless Explanation
I have realized that my patience … once legendary … is eroding.
The recent wave of casual disrespect ... from AF, CB, MM2, BG, IM, OP, and DA’s friend ... has worn grooves into my resolve.
These interactions no longer surprise me.
They exhaust me.
Even the students I like have become liabilities in this environment.
They act before thinking … speak before listening … and feel before reflecting.
Their immaturity is not moral failure … but moral fatigue … a symptom of the culture that produced them.
Yet knowing that truth offers little comfort.
The emotional energy required to remain calm in the face of chronic disrespect has outpaced my reserves.
Students once served as my final “safe haven” ... the reason I stayed when adults made the workplace intolerable.
Now that haven feels haunted.
When even authentic interactions risk misinterpretation, even the classroom becomes a minefield.
The building is already a minefield.
I can feel my own transformation from teacher to target … from nurturer to negotiator … from mentor to manager.
That is not who I want to be.
IV. Halloween’s Irony
Friday, October 31st ... Halloween ... arrived with irony.
The masks that others wore to amuse themselves mirrored the invisible masks I wear daily … calm over exhaustion … patience over irritation … professionalism over pain.
The day itself unfolded peacefully, if unevenly.
1B distributed candy and worked well enough.
2B rejected my enthusiasm for a new lesson, so I gave them independence instead of attention ... a boundary that protected both of us.
In small moments, there were glimmers of peace.
I spoke with JM to clarify that my earlier questioning about a misplaced test was not an attack … but accountability.
3B entered laughing about a hallway smell … but quickly composed themselves and worked with dignity.
Even discipline fatigue can produce efficiency when expectations are consistent.
I saw cooperation, not chaos.
I accepted that as victory.
The day’s professional meeting was less pleasant.
The geometry PLC revealed members experiencing the same undercurrent of bullying and manipulation from my former evaluating administrator … who sees himself as their “coach” administering love and “motivation.”
I watched the cycle of intimidation repeat itself with younger teachers ... each slope steepening as they resisted.
I disengaged.
They will have to learn by “sliding.”
This institutional pattern will not stop until enough of us step aside.
Even then, the “stop” will likely be performative.
V. The Doctor’s Office and the Doorway to Healing
Later that day, my doctor’s appointment brought an unexpected calm.
I described my stress, anxiety, and chronic fatigue with a clarity that I once reserved for my essays.
For once, I did not minimize my pain.
My physician listened … and agreed.
My FMLA paperwork was completed.
For the first time in years, the system granted me what it owed … time.
That permission felt like prophecy.
Time away from the classroom is not escape ... it is exhale.
I have spent decades teaching others how to find balance between work and worth.
Now I am being given the opportunity to practice what I have preached.
The work ahead is internal and eternal:
· To HEAL through writing, walking, prayer, ministry, and therapy.
· To HOLLER through creative expression, publication, and performance.
· To HELP through ministry that uplifts “mi gente.”
These are not extracurriculars.
They are essential functions of soul maintenance.
The classroom cannot remain my only stage.
Healing will become my syllabus.
VI. The Path Forward
The coming days will determine my next chapter.
I intend to revisit the earlier reflections on “publishing my ‘book’” and “buying time to do so.”
Those ideas are no longer theoretical ... they are survival strategies.
I will outline Unit 5 in geometry, my favorite unit, because the work itself remains a labor of love.
Teaching still holds joy when stripped of “human” interference.
I will maintain my writing discipline … converting lived experience into public testimony.
Writing has always been the proof of my endurance.
I no longer feel guilt for wanting to leave.
This is not abandonment.
It is obedience.
My service has outgrown this setting.
The same institution that once accepted and exploited my creativity now requires my compliance.
I choose creation. I choose peace.
VII. Conclusion ... The Labor of Love and Letting Go
I close … not with despair … but with decision.
I was once anchored by duty.
I now understand that rest is also work.
To pause is to protest.
To heal is to teach by example.
The future is already speaking.
The next lessons will not take place in my classroom … but in the quiet mornings of writing, the long walks of reflection, and the fellowship of restoration.
Geometry will remain my metaphor ... the study of space, distance, and relation.
Healing will become my new discipline ... the study of soul alignment.
The boundaries that once confined me will now define me.
The students will continue their paths, and I will continue mine.
Our intersection, though turbulent, was not in vain.
It revealed the cost of care … and the necessity of rest.
Time has finally returned what labor once consumed.
I will use it wisely ... to heal, to holler, and to help.
The work continues, but so does the rest.
Selah.
(The "Follow The Leader (changED - Volume 2)" Audio and Video Album / Mixtape is also available at TeachersPayTeachers.com)
(The "changED (Volume 1)" Audio and Video Album / Mixtape is also available at TeachersPayTeachers.com)
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I am a “standup storyteller.”
I fuse rap, spoken word (poetry), oration (traditional public speaking), singing, and teaching into messages of hope, healing, and change that I write, direct, and produce to help people who help people.
Everything must change - and stay changED.
Tradition begins and ends with change.
Change begins with me and the renewing of my mind ... then continues through efforts to effect small-group discipleship (equipping others to equip others) with audiences that respect and embrace mentoring, mediation, and problem solving as tools of change.
I am the product of my mentoring relationships, peacemaking (and peacekeeping), and problem-solving ability.
My education began when I finished school.
After school, I enrolled in a lifelong curriculum that includes classes in ministry, entrepreneurship, stewardship, literacy, numeracy, language, self-identity, self-expression, and analysis / synthesis.
My projects execute a ministry that has evolved from wisdom earned through lessons learned.
I want to share this wisdom to build teams of "triple threat" fellows - mentors, mediators, and problem solvers.
We will collaborate in simple, powerful ways that allow us to help people who help people.
I now know that power is work done efficiently (with wise and skillful use of resources, interests, communication, and expertise).
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