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Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Dear Hannah: LEarning (Got Floppies? (Thoughts On Healing & Stewardship))

By Derrick Brown (follow on Twitter @dbrowndbrown)

Dear Hannah,

You have been given relationships, possessions, talents, a mind, a body, and time.

Take care of what you have been given.

Love,

Daddy

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"LEarning (Got Floppies? (Thoughts On Healing & Stewardship))"
By Derrick Brown
5-28-2017

For years, I have repaired, recycled, and redistributed broken / obsolete laptop & desktop computers.

It began as a hobby.

When I was young, my Dad fixed large and small electronics to make our living.

I soon noticed that we never bought stereos, radios, TVs, refrigerators, washers & dryers - never.

I liked that.

I did not quite understand why we never bought them - but I liked that we never bought them.

So, I decided that after buying my first computer in 1992 for $1500 - that I would never buy another one.

I got a "broken" surplus computer from school, found out it was not broken at all - and I was captivated.

You might call this an "a-ha" moment.

Maybe even an "oh snap" moment.

It goes without saying that this was not the last "broken" computer I was ever given.

In fairness, many of them *were* broken - but many more were not.

Learning how to repair and reuse them taught me some dangerous work and life skills.

It alerted me to our (society's) wasteful habits and stewardship challenges.

It also saved and redirected my life - by giving me the opportunity to help people, which helped me to start healing.

This project helped me learn who I was (good, bad, and ugly), and discover my real passion for learning and uplifting people.

It helped me to stop "marking time", "running in place", "treadmilling", and suffocating as a "professional student".

It helped me to stop hiding behind my "busyness".

This was a time when life slowed down enough for me to feel every pain that I had numbed.

It helped me to start slowly "marching" towards freedom, courage, and victory.

I ran a summer camp for years teaching kids how to rebuild and reuse "broken" computers.

The camp was about so much more than broken computers - but people were quite drawn to that idea.

The camp helped me to continue my healing, and gave me a lot of opportunities to help other people heal.

Not quite in the way melodramatic way you see in churches or formal counseling - this approach was kinda quiet, subtle and unspoken.

Sometimes it just works better that way.

But I digress.

I financed the program through corporate sponsorships and resale of the repaired computers - or the working parts harvested from the unsalvageable ones.

The model I built is still a robust and viable one - 20 years later.

I am now using this approach to engage and organize local families.

This organizing effort is purposed to help them build positive, accountable relationships with the people who govern, run, and support their child's school.

It is also purposed to help them build skills, resources, and strategies.

'Cause you can win if you are in the game ...

... you can win if got some game ...

... and you can win if you have a plan, and know how to adjust.

If you are smelling what I am cooking, you see the overt and covert purposes in this mission.

The covert purpose (building skills, resources, and strategies) is the ultimate mission.

The overt purpose (engaging school stakeholders) is the supplemental mission - it will facilitate (and finance) the ultimate mission.

That is how I roll.

But I digress.

Let's get back on track.

I have limited time and space now, so sourcing and storing computers - while still important - is more of a challenge.

So, several months ago, I started thinking about how to adjust.

What other viable tools do we now throw away and even mock - that are still just as useful now?

Since the beginning of the year, I have had my memory jogged several times about how floppy disks were like Swiss army knives in the "old days" of computers (before CDs, DVDs, USBs and flash drives).

You installed software with them.

You backed up your computer with them.

You could use them to start and clean your computer if it had a virus (or some other issue).

If you had a Sony Mavica digital camera, you stored your pictures on them.

If you had a MIDI keyboard, or an Akai music production center (MPC), you stored music patterns on them, or used them to start your machine.

If you are a court reporter (stenographer), your recording machine uses them.

If you embroider, your machine uses them.

They also pack and stack well, taking up very little space.

But floppy diskettes have disappeared.

They are considered obsolete and archaic by most segments of society.

People will laugh at you silently and aloud if you even mention them.

When diskette drives were removed from computers, I threw all of my floppies away - except for one that I called "MacGyver".

"MacGyver" contains some special tools that have solved many problems for me.

A buddy called a few days ago with a dilemma.

We have a mutual friend who designs and builds custom car stereo speaker cabinets using some old computer programs.

They were installed on his computer for him in the 1990s, and he was given no installation diskettes.

His computer only has a diskette drive, and he now needs to move the design program to another computer.

"MacGyver" is the only tool I have that can help him - but it is the only tool I need.

Floppy diskettes are still useful in this world.

The fact that most people disagree only increases their value.

I'm in the floppy game, and can win the game - because I know how to play, have a plan, and can adjust.

As I close, there are a few layers to this message, so let's peel them back ...

1. One person's trash is another's treasure. I make my living this way.

2. Don't let the smooth face fool you - I am a purposeful strategist who does not think with his eyes. I make my giving this way.

3. We are all treasures in earthen vessels - with strengths that emanate from healed weaknesses (2 Cor 4:7-9). I hope that I am living my life this way.

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About Derrick Brown (Standup Storyteller)

I am Keisha's husband, and Hannah's father.

I am a “standup storyteller.”

I fuse rap, spoken word (poetry), oration (traditional public speaking), singing, and teaching into messages of hope, healing, and change that I write, direct, and produce to help people who help people.

Everything must change - and stay changED.

Tradition begins and ends with change.

Change begins with me and the renewing of my mind ... then continues through efforts to effect small-group discipleship (equipping others to equip others) with audiences that respect and embrace mentoring, mediation, and problem solving as tools of change.

I am the product of my mentoring relationships, peacemaking (and peacekeeping), and problem-solving ability.

My education began when I finished school.

After school, I enrolled in a lifelong curriculum that includes classes in ministry, entrepreneurship, stewardship, literacy, numeracy, language, self-identity, self-expression, and analysis / synthesis.

My projects execute a ministry that has evolved from wisdom earned through lessons learned.

I want to share this wisdom to build teams of "triple threat" fellows - mentors, mediators, and problem solvers.

We will collaborate in simple, powerful ways that allow us to help people who help people.

I now know that power is work done efficiently (with wise and skillful use of resources, interests, communication, and expertise).

Dear Hannah: LEarning (Friends & Influence)

By Derrick Brown (follow on Twitter @dbrowndbrown)

Dear Hannah,

Your friends will be the people who accept and affirm you, hold you accountable, and present you with authority that you respect.

You and your friends will exert powerful influence over each other.

Your charisma will give you powerful influence in the world, too.

Everybody you influence will not become your friend - and that is OK.

The most powerful influence, though, is exerted via self-control.

Love,

Daddy

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"LEarning (Friends & Influence)"
By Derrick Brown
5-29-2017

I read books and articles to weigh and consider - even to "wrestle" with - the ideas conveyed by authors.

Sometimes I understand, like, and embrace those ideas - and sometimes I do not.

Sometimes I discern that the author's experiences are different than mine - therefore, their assertions, opinions, and conclusions are different.

Sometimes that is OK, and simply is what it is.

Sometimes I have to "unlearn" the author's assertion, then "relearn" and apply it in the context of my own life.

I often read and wrestle with Dale Carnegie's classic book "How To Win Friends And Influence People".

Its principles have helped me to become a more effective, charismatic leader.

They have also equipped me to fight for freedom and equality.

It may go without saying to some, but the fight for freedom and equality in this world is still a long, difficult, uphill climb.

It is a war with many battles against obvious and subtle opposition.

The freedom fighting contributions are easy to miss in this book's positive, conversational, idealized wisdom - about navigating a world that may only exist for some of us.

But they are easier to see with some creative, skillful "relearning" and contextual application.

My relearning is guided by the awareness that

1. We are not all treated the same way.

2. Nor do we treat each other the same way ...

3. Mature people do not seek to control other people and situations. They are adept at the art of self-control.

Let's work through and wrestle with a few of these ideas ...

Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
PRINCIPLE 1 – Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.

It is wise to be a careful observer of human behavior, and to listen more than you talk.

It is just as wise to avoid ever voicing personal (or ad hominem) attacks of any kind.

I have come to realize, though, that anything you say other than "yes" and "amen" can be misconstrued as negative behavior - and can work against you in the court of public opinion ...

... especially telling people "no".

Sometimes you will need to say "no" to requests and expectations.

Sometimes you will have to say "no" to the way you are treated.

The recipient of that "no" may become aghast at your unmitigated gall ... your lack of couth.

" ... how dare you".

" ... well, you know ... you were just so abrupt".

With all that said, though - remember that there is a reason why the letters "n" and "o" are next to each other in the alphabet.

Do not attack, but do not be afraid to take a step back - or walk away.

Vote with your conscience and your feet - and accept that people will think whatever they want to think about your stance.

-----------------

Ways to Make People Like You
PRINCIPLE 2 – Smile.
PRINCIPLE 5 – Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.

Let's wrestle with these two ideas together.

Smiles convey your inner peace, happiness, and goodwill to all who engage your countenance.

Smiles can charm and disarm ... they can warm even the coldest soul.

There is also a type of smile (the one where you drop your chin, feel your forehead wrinkle, and your eyebrows arch) that says "watch yourself there, player".

I say that to say that smiles can convey a range of emotions.

I am a member of a few communities whose interests are frequently overlooked and underrepresented - perhaps even misrepresented - by well-meaning (and not so well-meaning) folks.

In effect, I am usually talking in terms of the other person's interests - by default.

So, in difficult circumstances, my best approach is to listen, to try to think in terms of the other person's interests - and to then be prepared to act in my own best interests ...

... what is their position?

... what do they want?

... what do they mean?

... what are they not saying?

This is easier said than done.

Here's a quick story that helps me with my wrestling and self-reflection.

I was an invited member at a board committee meeting with a group of people that I regarded as close-minded, condescending, and detached from reality.

This was not somewhere I wanted to be - but I needed to be there (this is frequent theme in my life).

When you are the invited member, the unspoken, unbroken rule is that you kinda speak when invited to speak.

I reserve the right to break that rule, and assume all inherent risks (this is another frequent theme in my life).

Anyway, let's just say the discussion reached a tricky, sticky point where I interjected with some force.

I am known for being an intense listener in meetings (often characterized as "quiet") - but I am not "silent".

So, when I speak up and speak out, it surprises folks.

I catch them "slipping" sometimes.

On this day, the committee chair offered a dismissive wave of the hand and said something like " ... oh, smile Derrick ...".

Her words seemed subtle then.

I understand now that she talked down to me in a room full of people - and may have said what more than one person was thinking.

It was somewhere between patting me on the head, and smacking me in the face.

I gave her a big smile, but it was not a "yes, ma'am - happy to be here" smile.

This was more like a "I know somebody's chili just got a little warmer" smile.

Truth is, perhaps both our chilis were a little warm.

That was the last committee meeting I was invited to - and that may have been for the best.

I don't have a clever summary for this one.

Let's go with this - commit your energy to understanding your "temperature" and maintaining self-control.

That provides the best opportunity for people to like you.

Know, though, that you may still encounter circumstances that result in your being disliked.

If that is the case, then it is well.

-------------------

How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking
PRINCIPLE 8 – Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

Here's some truth that helps me learn from this book - and to not toss it against the wall.

I do not have many encounters with people who can be "won over".

My encounters are often with folks who like to "run over".

I am - again by default - only allowed to consider their point of view.

My challenge, if you will, is to "slow their roll" ... to give them cause to pause and consider (or reconsider).

So the "win" for me is not to have them think what I think.

Rather, it is to have them someday ... in some small way ... acknowledge and think *about* what I think.

My best opportunity to do this is to offer the truth about my perspective.

Listen carefully to what I am saying - I said "truth about my perspective" - not "truth" (in an absolute sense).

No matter how true "our truth" might seem - understand that you cannot force others to embrace "your truth" as "the truth".

See, today we all take "our truth" as "the truth" - and we all support our truth with irrefutable facts and convenient wisdom.

This can lead to a lot of time wasted with arguments and fights - that amount to little more than thumb wrestling.

I am learning to offer the truth about my perspective with a skillful balance of grace, humility, and firmness.

... and to understand how that truth might be heard ...

... and to then let it be.

-------------------

Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving or Arousing Resentment
PRINCIPLE 1 – Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
PRINCIPLE 2 – Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
PRINCIPLE 3 – Talk about your own mistakes before criticising the other person.
PRINCIPLE 4 – Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
PRINCIPLE 5 – Let the other person save face.
PRINCIPLE 6 – Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
PRINCIPLE 7 – Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
PRINCIPLE 8 – Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
PRINCIPLE 9 – Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

This title once paralyzed me, but I now understand why.

I reject the idea of exerting energy to control other people by coercive, manipulative, patronizing multi-step "recipes" ... no matter how gently and eloquently they are delivered ...

... largely because of several negative experiences of people trying to control me with these approaches.

I accept that I often invite this behavior by being "me".

I am quiet and observant - but not silent.

I am solitary - unafraid to stand alone.

I will speak on it, and say what I think I need to say with confidence, precision, efficiency, rhythm and firmness ... even if it opposes conventional wisdom and trends.

I ain't scared to sound "crazy".

I am also short ... and small ... and still have a bit of a babyface.

My personality intimidates some, and causes some to roll their eyes and dismiss.

My personality, stature, and countenance often invite both passive and active aggression from others.

Some folks cannot help themselves - they experience all of the above.

I intimidate them, and invite their aggression.

This special group of people may never become my friends, or acknowledge my influence.

But I digress.

This principle offers an eternal opportunity to "chew the meat, and spit out the bones".

I embrace exerting energy to practice self-control through empathy, honesty, humility, grace, mercy, and forgiveness.

If I need to deliver a tough word, I become the audience ... and consider how I would say it to myself.

Even then, your words can still be received as an attack.

In that case - it is well.

Let it be and leave it alone.

-------------------

CONCLUSION

What have I said?

I hope I said that ...

Friends accept and affirm you, hold you accountable, and present you with authority that you respect.

You and your friends will exert powerful influence over each other.

Your charisma will give you powerful influence in the world, too.

Everybody you influence will not be your friend - and that is OK.

The most powerful influence, though, is exerted via self-control.

About Derrick Brown (Standup Storyteller)

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Dear Hannah: LEarning (Happy Birthday (Thoughts On Growing Up - And Speaking Up))

By Derrick Brown (follow on Twitter @dbrowndbrown)

Dear Hannah,

Take stock of your life on every birthday.

Assess your progress towards love, maturity, courage, freedom, and your life's mission and vision.

Embrace the people who love and appreciate you, and take the time to tell you that you are important to them.

Then reciprocate and exceed that love and reflection with intention and sincerity.

Love,

Daddy

Support Our Work - Buy This Podcast (SEE BELOW)!

"LEarning (Happy Birthday (Thoughts On Growing Up - And Speaking Up))"
By Derrick Brown
5-29-2017

I celebrated my birthday a couple of weeks ago.

Birthdays are important milestones.

They allow us to reflect on and appreciate life, health, happiness, and stewardship.

And my wife's homemade pizza.

I appreciate getting birthday wishes through cards, texts, and Facebook.

These wishes help me realize that my life is meaningful to other people.

Every year, a few wishes impart simple, strong words of encouragement that keep my fire stoked.

This year, one of them came from my friend and mentor, Darryl.

He said "... keep doing what you do, being who you are".

Maybe many folks say that - but not many folks say it to me.

I receive that, brother - and thanks for acknowledging my work and my being.

Let me try to explain why his words were so important to me.

See, I have known for quite some time that even strange folks think I am peculiar.

It is well.

They can't see me.

But I know who I am.

But I know what I am doing.

I do not mistake my activity for achievement.

I am a "standup storyteller" - with much more to do and say in my remaining years.

I want to be a five-tool "standup storyteller" - teacher, orator, poet, rapper, and singer - and use these elements to create beauty.

Creation of beauty is art.

My art is inspired by the best that I have seen from each of these worlds.

I am particularly inspired by the artist community that thrived at Tech High School (2004-2012).

I am also sobered, informed, and cautioned by the worst that I have seen from each of these worlds.

I am hopeful that a "loving & living" approach can make the worst and best just a little better - through honor, humility, and sharing the truth about our perspectives.

I write, compose, arrange, and perform all lyrics and beats for the songs that express my views.

I also record and produce the videos (with on-screen lyrics).

I have mastered none of these skills, but am good enough at each to "own my masters" (pun intended) - and to control my destiny.

My songs are all letters to our daughter, Hannah.

I am sharing all my (hard) lessons with her (hopefully from a place of healing) - so that when the student is ready, the teacher will reach - then teach.

I have created and finished 15 songs & videos since November 2016.

They have not all been released, but will be in due time and season.

I am in a nice (and urgent) groove right now, so I will continue to write and record every inspired word until the well runs dry.

As I write, I continue to dream of ways to deliver my art in ways that can deliver my people.

I know that I have a small, "niche" audience, and that is OK.

I will speak to those who listen.

I will say what I need to say.

I first spoke to things I see that need to change - and how we can change them.

My new groove is to speak on *how* we speak when we speak up.

That's a tall task.

We have to use what we have to get what we want.

All we have is what we are given - and what we produce from it.

Guess what?

We are given opportunities disguised as work, problems, misinformation, disrespect, inequality, and exploitation.

But these are still opportunities for they who endureth.

At a minimum, these are opportunities to grow and mature in how we handle bad circumstances, difficult situations and unexpected outcomes.

Many times in my life, I have experienced inequities and iniquities that occur in plain sight ...

... that go unchecked.

Because none are as blind as those who will not see.

But there are those who see, and will not say.

Others see, but do not stay.

Others see, and just say "OK" ...

... can't do nothin' bout that anyway ...

... but pray and pray that it goes away ...

... or say, "I do it all for God, anyway".

So what's the balance ...

how do you say ...

I don't like this flow ...

... this manipulative m.o. ...

... it's not ok, yo ...

... and say this in love ...

... but love that is firm ...

... fair, balanced, and just ...

... that demands different treatment ...

... to restore broken trust?

I do not have a definitive answer to this dilemma.

I have an approach, but understand the inherent risks of its uncontrollable outcomes.

See, now I know ...

... to be real careful tho ...

... about speaking truth to power ...

... for speaking in mixed company ...

... creates mixed messages ...

... and weapons of mass distraction ...

... that can and will be used against you (in the oversimplified court of public opinion).

There will come a time where walking away from "mess" is the most prudent choice ...

... but gather yourself ...

... be of good courage ...

... and find a way to speak your piece ...

... but keep your peace ...

... then make some peace ...

... then say "peace" ...

... que sera, sera ...

... whatever will be, will be ...

... the future's not ours to see.

----------------

About Derrick Brown (Standup Storyteller)

reachthenteach

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Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Dear Hannah: LEarning (Got Floppies? (Thoughts On Healing & Stewardship))

Dear Hannah: LEarning (Friends & Influence)

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Dear Hannah: LEarning (Happy Birthday (Thoughts On Growing Up - And Speaking Up))

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