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Thursday, October 30, 2025

Dear Hannah: LEarning (Reaching Out … While Respecting Boundaries (Part 2)) (1412 Words)


Reaching Out … While Respecting Boundaries (Part 2) (1412 Words)


(58th and 59th Days of School – October 29–30, 2025)

By Derrick Brown (Join Our Mailing List!)


I. The Systemic Circle

<SNIP>

II. The New Sheriff and the Old Town

<SNIP>

III. Boundary Crossings and Verbal Battles

The past few days also surfaced a string of “boundary crossings” … small, insidious moments that reveal how respect has eroded into rhetoric.

Each exchange began with words that should have been routine … and ended with words that should never have been spoken.

MM2, BG … then Wednesday 10-30-2025 with EG, (this one hurt … because it showed that we are far away from our 8-7-2025 listening session).

MM2 continues to wrestle with the concept of authority.

Her defiance has evolved from eye-rolls to overt verbal combat.

BG has followed a similar trajectory.

Both appear unburdened by fear of consequence.

Their language is casual, but the disrespect is deliberate.

These interactions drain energy that should be reserved for instruction.

The exhaustion is cumulative.

Then came EG.

That encounter hurt differently.

I once saw reflection in his eyes … during our August listening session when we discussed peace and patience.

On Wednesday, his words betrayed that memory.

He is concussed … and perhaps carrying deeper, unseen burdens … but even that context cannot excuse the venom that now passes for communication.

I cannot diagnose his pain, but I can feel its projection.

I mourn what we had.

On Thursday, OP and IM added their names to the list.

What began as a simple correction … turned into a debate about tone and entitlement.

Both are “confident” and charismatic “mouth runners” conditioned to interpret accountability as insult.

Their attempted back-and-forth was not rage … it was recreation.

Talking back has become a sport.

In each of these exchanges, I confirmed a new phenomenon … students who are not overtly profane or violent … who have no disciplinary records … yet who are profoundly disrespectful in their speech.

They mistake debate for dialogue … insolence for intelligence … and familiarity for “equality.”

It is not anger that animates them.

It is delusion.

Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

What fills these hearts is confusion about who deserves respect … and why.


IV. The Classroom Cauldron Cools

Amidst this turbulence, a quiet shift has occurred.

The “classroom cauldron” that once boiled with chaos has begun to simmer.

Even my greatest “murmurers” paused in silence as OP and IM crossed lines they themselves have learned not to approach.

Their stillness revealed an unintended success … they have learned boundaries by witnessing others break them.

The classroom now contains a fragile equilibrium … not peace, but awareness.

There was also light in the margins.

I introduced the game SET to 3A … JahA, JL, AMO, and MM.

It forced me to learn this new version myselfsince the one I loved has been discontinued.

We stood shoulder to shoulder at the large ViewSonic board, solving together, trading logic instead of insults.

The proximity created engagement.

It was learning by presence.

That brief moment of shared focus was worth the noise that followed.

It reminded me that intellectual play is still possible when respect is maintained.

This followed our successful Uno tournament earlier in the week, which had ended with JT’s victory … and laughter that felt clean.

These structured games have become microcosms of grace … spaces where order and creativity coexist.

When students are invited to compete with rules, they learn that boundaries are not punishments.

They are permissions.


V. The Weight of Words

Still, the recurring “mouthiness” from so many quarters signals a deeper social shift.

We now educate a generation that equates unfiltered expression with authenticity.

To them, restraint is hypocrisy.

Correction feels like oppression.

The classroom becomes a courtroom … where each student plays both lawyer and defendant.

I have tried to replace punishment with conversation … but conversation requires mutual humility.

Many of my students lack it because they may have never seen it modeled.

In this environment, my insistence on respect appears obsolete.

I am no longer competing with ignorance.

I am competing with normalization.

Sometimes I let fools go.

Sometimes I let fools know.

Sometimes I let them go once it becomes clear that they cannot be made to know.

The discernment lies in deciding which response preserves my peace.


VI. The Teacher’s Dilemma

The older I become, the more I recognize that each year of teaching demands an exchange.

The job offers influence … but drains vitality.

What used to feel like calling now feels like conscription.

The only sustainable defense is distance.

Boundaries that once protected students now protect me.

I am aware that these may be my last days in the classroom.

It is not bitterness that guides this thought.

It is survival.

Leaving may be the final act of respect … both for myself and for those who no longer know how to learn from me.

I would rather exit with grace than remain as a cautionary tale.

Yet the decision carries sorrow.

Teaching is not simply what I do.

It is how I understand the world.

But even purpose requires preservation.

The only effective boundary against the “new normal” of verbal disrespect may indeed be departure.


VII. Conclusion — Still I Rise

I keep writing because writing remains my resistance.

Reflection converts frustration into framework.

The act of documenting what others ignore transforms despair into data.

<SNIP>, nor can I unhear the echo of casual contempt in students’ voices.

But I can choose how to respond.

To reach out is still my nature.

To respect boundaries is now my necessity.

These two truths no longer compete … they complete each other.

The grace that once overflowed … must now flow within channels I construct.

Those channels are narrow but navigable.

As I watch the room empty at day’s end, I remind myself that exhaustion is not failure.

It is evidence of effort.

I remain grateful for every student who listens … for every colleague who cares … for every moment of quiet understanding that survives the noise.

This is the work.

To keep reaching … even when respect feels foreign … to keep respecting … even when recognition feels distant … and to keep writing … because silence is surrender.

Selah.




 
 
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"Daddy's Home" (2018)

(The "Follow The Leader (changED - Volume 2)" Audio and Video Album / Mixtape is also available at TeachersPayTeachers.com) 

(The "changED (Volume 1)" Audio and Video Album / Mixtape is also available at TeachersPayTeachers.com) 



About Derrick Brown (Standup Storyteller)

 

 

I am Keisha's husband, and Hannah's father.

I am a “standup storyteller.”

I fuse rap, spoken word (poetry), oration (traditional public speaking), singing, and teaching into messages of hope, healing, and change that I write, direct, and produce to help people who help people.

Everything must change - and stay changED.

Tradition begins and ends with change.

Change begins with me and the renewing of my mind ... then continues through efforts to effect small-group discipleship (equipping others to equip others) with audiences that respect and embrace mentoring, mediation, and problem solving as tools of change.

I am the product of my mentoring relationships, peacemaking (and peacekeeping), and problem-solving ability.

My education began when I finished school.

After school, I enrolled in a lifelong curriculum that includes classes in ministry, entrepreneurship, stewardship, literacy, numeracy, language, self-identity, self-expression, and analysis / synthesis.

My projects execute a ministry that has evolved from wisdom earned through lessons learned.

I want to share this wisdom to build teams of "triple threat" fellows - mentors, mediators, and problem solvers.

We will collaborate in simple, powerful ways that allow us to help people who help people.

I now know that power is work done efficiently (with wise and skillful use of resources, interests, communication, and expertise).

Copyright © 2025 Derrick  Brown. All Rights Reserved.
 
 

 


 
 






Wednesday, October 29, 2025

Dear Hannah: LEarning (Reaching Out … While Respecting Boundaries) (1502 Words)


I. Grace Extended Across Loss

These days began with quiet gestures that mattered more than the lessons on the board.

I wrote CoachBD to offer condolences for the recent loss of his father … and included two essays ... Remembering Grandmama and Remembering Grandmama (Part 2) ... hoping that the reflection might meet his grief … where words often fail.

His reply confirmed that it did.

He shared that his father had entered his life when he was thirty … and that the short years they had together still taught him how to be a better man … that gratitude could coexist with regret.

It was an honest, masculine confession ... a reminder that writing can perform quiet pastoral work when handled with care.

Later, I visited JAL to offer condolences for multiple family losses within his wife’s family.

He spoke of how one death had been expected … while another was sudden.

That difference opened a conversation about the varied rhythms of grief … and how husbands can support their wives when mourning becomes daily atmosphere.

We spoke not as teachers … but as men learning to be gentle.

These encounters re-anchored me before stepping again into classrooms where gentleness is tested hourly.


II. Bounded Grace in Instruction

Over the weekend, I graded and posted unit-test scores.

The process demanded both accuracy and mercy.

Each class received a slightly different tone of encouragement ... one that balanced truth with grace.

I reminded them that the path to higher scores requires completion of the provided study guide and key … documents that practically give away the test.

I cautioned against shortcuts ... the Chromebook “misuse”, the whispered answers, and the copy-and-paste habits that trade honesty for haste.

I told them that grades of “68” often represent grace that disguises how poor the work truly is ... camouflage to protect confidence while truth finds its footing.

I knew the risk … such candor can sound like criticism.

Students often receive my reflective addresses as sermons directed at someone else … like the “bad and dumb” classmates they think they exceed.

They “tune out” precisely when they should “tune in.”

Two students, JV and ER, earned perfect scores … yet declined public praise.

They said that they had simply studied the key and followed instructions.

MG, who earned a 99, credited paying attention in her support class ... which “lags” my geometry class by one day ... and completing the study guide.

None of them turned in a finished guide, but they worked through it privately.

That imperfect diligence was enough.

Their restraint in seeking recognition was its own lesson in maturity.


III. Teaching with Boundaries and Brevity

At the close of 1A, PCC and TW called me a “wise man.”

I smiled and replied that a wise man knows his limitations … and sets boundaries accordingly.

In 1A, that wisdom means teaching with brevity, enthusiasm, and clarity ... then allowing silence to finish the lesson.

We explored dilations … first with two large plastic triangles of different sizes … then with figures on the XY-plane … then through numerical scale factors that stretch or shrink coordinates.

The concept was visible, tangible, and repeated in multiple languages of learning.

After demonstration came the boundary.

I assigned the work, sat at my desk, and listened to them reteach one another in what they believed was simpler language.

They echoed my explanations almost verbatim, but were convinced that they had reinvented them.

This performance of autonomy is developmental progress … disguised as independence.

Letting them struggle within structure is the pedagogy of patience.

RG tested the edges of that patience with a request to “go look in the bathroom mirror” … after being reported as AWOL by another teacher the previous week.

He admitted to skipping class.

I reminded him that desire must travel through discipline … that permission is earned, not granted through entertainment.

DL approached next, asking for “help.”

When I asked what kind, he hesitated ... then realized his question was answerable by thought, not rescue.

He had to determine coordinates from a graphed figure … rather than graph coordinates already given.

I stayed silent.

He answered his own question.

Moments earlier he had asked whether “>” meant greater than or less than … while a idle Chromebook sat in front of him.

The contrast … and irony … were both meaningful.

He was beginning to think before asking.

That small victory revealed the boundary’s value.

Guidance withheld becomes growth realized.


IV. Revisiting Old Wounds to Redraw Lines

In 3B, I shared a memory from September 18 ... the day CM emerged to explain why I used parentheses to avoid sign errors in the distance formula.

Before he could finish, MM2 cut him off by announcing that CM had failed geometry the previous year.

The cruelty was surgical.

The class laughed, and something in me broke quietly.

Today I retold that story.

MM1 glanced at MM2 knowingly as I expressed disgust at the unnamed offender.

My intention was not vengeance, but moral recalibration.

I wanted MM2 to hear that the event marked her in my awareness ... not as an enemy, but as one I might need to watch.

That day became the origin of her later seat change … and the persistent personal friction that followed.

Now I may be able to enlist MM1 to help me “redeliver” the message ... that respect remains the non-negotiable boundary in our fellowship.

Sometimes boundaries need multiple messengers. Sometimes grace requires witnesses.


V. The Geometry of Boundaries

Boundaries are the invisible coordinates of emotional geometry.

They define where empathy ends and accountability begins.

They protect the Teacher from becoming a “servant” … and the student from mistaking liberty for license.

When I require students to stand and bring their tests to the front … they groan.

What they perceive as control is rehearsal for adulthood.

The physical act of rising becomes metaphor.

To stand is to take responsibility for one’s work … to move toward closure … to present effort honestly.

Many fail this simple choreography, unable to place test booklets and answer sheets in their respective stacks correctly.

Such errors are not intellectual … but existential.

They expose how disorganization disguises itself as resistance.

These moments reveal that much of my teaching occurs beneath the surface of content.

I am teaching attentiveness to detail … respect for process … courage to approach.

Each act of standing, each quiet correction, each stern “put your phone away” is a coordinate on the same plane of growth.


VI. The Teacher’s Refuge

Between classes, I sought small sanctuaries.

Visiting CoachTM during his class’ geometry test reminded me that history repeats … but can also reconcile.

His student JT once played in my 2019 Nine Men’s Morris tournament (as a 4th-grader).

He no longer remembered the rules, but he remembered the thrill of victory and the humility of defeat.

When I showed him the photograph of his handshake with the tournament champion, he smiled.

Memory restored balance.

I felt gratitude for continuity … for the threads that outlast conflict.

Sharing essays with colleagues like CS became another form of self-care.

Encouraging others with writing is how I stabilize my own equilibrium.

Grace shared replenishes the giver.


VII. Reaching Out … and Pulling Back

The paradox of these days was that reaching out required restraint.

Every gesture of empathy demanded an equal measure of boundary.

To comfort a colleague is easy … to correct a student is harder … to do both … within hours of each other … tests the soul.

I am learning that leadership in the classroom mirrors leadership in life.

Boundaries protect compassion from depletion.

Without them, empathy curdles into exhaustion.

With them, empathy matures into respect.

The phrase “wise man” echoed long after PCC and TW said it.

Wisdom in this context means teaching without over-explaining … guiding without guilt … listening without surrender.

It means allowing silence to finish sentences that advice cannot.

It means recognizing that some students, like DL and JW, are performing sincerity because sincerity still feels foreign.

Their performances are practice.

My patience must be rehearsal.

The days closed without spectacle.

No major outbursts.

No epiphanies.

Only a quiet awareness that grace has seasons … that boundaries are blessings … and that both can coexist within the same lesson plan.


VIII. Conclusion — The Quiet Math of Mercy

Reaching out while respecting boundaries is the new arithmetic of my profession.

Addition looks like empathy … subtraction looks like silence … division looks like delegation … multiplication looks like patience.

The sum is peace.

Each condolence offered … each boundary redrawn … each conversation withheld … contributed to that equation.

The result was not perfection … but proportion.

Grace without structure becomes indulgence.

Structure without grace becomes tyranny.

Balance between them becomes wisdom.

By Tuesday afternoon I felt neither triumphant nor defeated.

I felt aligned.

The students were still learning.

So was I.

Boundaries had kept the days from unraveling.

Grace had kept it human.

Selah.



Support Our Work - Buy Our Other Podcast Series (SEE BELOW)!

 
 


 
 
 
 
 
 
"Daddy's Home" (2018)

(The "Follow The Leader (changED - Volume 2)" Audio and Video Album / Mixtape is also available at TeachersPayTeachers.com) 

(The "changED (Volume 1)" Audio and Video Album / Mixtape is also available at TeachersPayTeachers.com) 



About Derrick Brown (Standup Storyteller)

 

 

I am Keisha's husband, and Hannah's father.

I am a “standup storyteller.”

I fuse rap, spoken word (poetry), oration (traditional public speaking), singing, and teaching into messages of hope, healing, and change that I write, direct, and produce to help people who help people.

Everything must change - and stay changED.

Tradition begins and ends with change.

Change begins with me and the renewing of my mind ... then continues through efforts to effect small-group discipleship (equipping others to equip others) with audiences that respect and embrace mentoring, mediation, and problem solving as tools of change.

I am the product of my mentoring relationships, peacemaking (and peacekeeping), and problem-solving ability.

My education began when I finished school.

After school, I enrolled in a lifelong curriculum that includes classes in ministry, entrepreneurship, stewardship, literacy, numeracy, language, self-identity, self-expression, and analysis / synthesis.

My projects execute a ministry that has evolved from wisdom earned through lessons learned.

I want to share this wisdom to build teams of "triple threat" fellows - mentors, mediators, and problem solvers.

We will collaborate in simple, powerful ways that allow us to help people who help people.

I now know that power is work done efficiently (with wise and skillful use of resources, interests, communication, and expertise).

Copyright © 2025 Derrick  Brown. All Rights Reserved.
 
 

 


 
 






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